Nothing, emptiness, poker-faced. That closely what I show every day. Days go by, nothing new else than, I missed you. Although I knew it would be hard & tough, but I never imagined it would turn out like this.
I’m suffocating, literally can’t stand anybody or anything. I’m sorry my soul is cold, I’m sorry I’m like this, but I can’t take it anymore.
I’m crying my heart out, now. Because by time I discovered it’s like every insignificant thing that is going to make my pleased even just for a moment an hour or a day, just doesn’t take place. Like fate disagrees with me, it doesn’t want to make me happy. I’m trying my best every time, but I’m failing, it’s not the same without you. Everything I ever wanted you spoilt it. I’m crying not because I want to, but I realize there is absolutely nothing that could ever make me smile like we used to. So, I build a story in my head; paint a picture in my mind that good old days are coming back. I’m keeping your place safe; no one could ever replace you.
I always wonder what if I just swallowed my pride and told you I needed you, stay next to me? I would still be happy by now, I would stand the heartbreaks. At least, there would be pleasant news that will make me move to cloud nine. As short as this post is as how much I missed you since you’ve been away, now I’m back to my poker face like I always do.. -SA