Quite Lullaby..

ImageThursday 29th of November. A typical week-end day, where I’m hanging out with my friends, nothing much in my head. Out of the blue someone said your name, & as usual I fell to pieces.  Here come the adrenaline shots, belly-twisted, nervous moment, I could fluently hear my rapid heartbeats. With every step you took, it’s the more I got tense.  My face turned red, you came, you said hello and you left, that easy for you… I wish it was the same like that for me.  I was unaware of what’s happening beside me, my eyes couldn’t see anyone but you. Wait a second, what’s this? You’re coming closer and closer, with the cutest smile EVER. Now you’re calling my name, and straightforwardly I go with you like you always had me, great!

You told me you missed me, I told you I did too. You asked me how things were going, I told you great… Well, I lied it’s not the same without you. You told me your stories that I missed, and made fun of everyone passing by. It’s when someone says the same joke you used to say, it just doesn’t sound the same. But effortlessly you made me laugh so hard, like you always do. While I tried hard to show no emotions when I’m with you. Unlike everybody else, you’re the only one I feel I’m alive when I’m near to him. And with my loudest voice I felt I wanted to scream, I need you, I need you, I need you.

You know what have you done? No, you actually know nothing. You took everything I had, everything till I have nothing left now to give to anyone.

Image

You toyed with my emotions, it’s like an explosion. Everybody knows me, I’m cold as snow. I show no sensations whatsoever so, I’ve tried but I had no luck with it, it sucks but exactly what I thought it’s going to be when you leave. Nowadays, I rarely cry my heart out, I rarely care, and I rarely laugh till my stomach hurts.  Now, you’re all thinking well that’s not so terrible you don’t know how bad it
feels to get hurt. But I’m sick of everyone who would secretly whisper, here comes the robot girl to the point I’m faking everything I feel every day. I’ve never wanted this; if that living strong is then I want to be weak. You know how am I really been doing? I’ve been searching in everything around me that would make me smile for even a second; even it was good or bad, I didn’t care. “Time would heal everything” is the only hope I’ve got right now, but dear it would take so long just to feel alright.
-SA

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