Midnight Confessions.

I miss you. I miss talking to you day and night. I miss hearing your voice every single day. I miss hearing you say those three words everyday. I miss being yours. I miss those smiles and looks of yours.. Those ones that gave me goosebumps every single time I laid my eyes upon. I miss that feeling of us together against the whole world. I miss daydreaming with you about our future. I miss the stories we used to make up about our future kids. I miss making you happy every second of your day and I miss you making me happy too. I miss hitting your nape and making you furious cause you’d never hit your girl back. I miss teasing the shit out of you. I miss us trying to work things out every time we were falling apart. I miss feeling safe. I miss feeling special. I miss listening to our favorite songs together. I miss staring at you and I miss you staring back. I miss your flying kisses. I miss when you used to act like the protective guy. I even miss when you used to goof around. I miss knowing all your flaws and accepting you the way you are. I miss loving you more and more as each day passed by. I miss telling you everything I could never tell anyone else. I miss the surprises you always used to make me. I miss us sacrificing for each other. I miss talking to your mother. I miss talking to your sister and her friend about you too. I miss people coming out of nowhere just to tell me that they dream about attending our wedding. I miss us being infinite and bottomless I miss us sharing laughter. I miss us sharing pain and grief. I miss you.. I miss us.
I still love you, dare I say I don’t. I still love you even though I’ve been really hurt. I still love you even though you moved on, even though it’s been four months now. I still love you no matter how many times you’ve pushed me away. I still love you despite every wrong you’ve done to me. I still love you even though you now don’t at all.
I will wait. I will wait for you. I will wait for a second chance and I will wait for a do over, I just hope you’re willing to give a second chance and accept a do over.
You’re probably never going to read this nor the letter I wrote you.. We’re also probably never getting back together.
It’s not okay to drift for days and weeks and come back talking to me as if nothing ever happened, yet I forgive you. It’s not okay to lie to me when I already know the truth, yet I forgive you. It’s not okay for you to use me, it’s not okay for you to miss me then never reply at my texts, yet I do forgive you. I forgive you cause I love you.
And I will love you Aly, always.

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